Bolts

Screen shows a baren wasteland with human bones skattered and intermingled with the dust that covers them. Soon after a large metalic foot crunches through one of the skulls and keeps walking away.

Radio transmission begins.

Voice: On July 1, 2008 the Canadians became self-aware. That same day they launched a massive assault on the rest of the world. Those who survived that day called it.....Canada Day.

Screen cuts to Bolts staring through a pair of binoculars while shouting orders to other men and women behind him.

Voice: My name is Bolts....I lead the last rebellion of man-kind against the Canadians. In order to stop me, the Canadians sent a Canadiator back in time to kill my mother before she could give birth to me.

Screen cuts to ULX, naked and falling out of a large reflective bubble before getting up and walking away.

Screen cuts to black.

Voice: In order to stop them, I was able to send one operative back to protect her.

Screen cuts to Lunar landing naked in a now charred field before standing up and walking away nervously.

Screen cuts to black.

Voice: God help us all....

Radio transmission crackles and dies.

Voiceover Guy: Lunar

Screen cuts to Lunar firing a shotgun at ULX.

Voiceover Guy: Aoi

Screen cuts to Aoi screaming and running away from ULX whilst he paces slowly towards her.

Voiceover Guy: Craig

Screen cuts to Craig getting shot as the first of many cops to die.

Voiceover Guy: Cador

Screen cuts to Cador saying, “Thank you, come again,” as the sales clerk for every store.

Voiceover Guy: ULX is...

Screen cuts to ULX with half his face torn off, revealing a glowing red eye and a metalic skeleton.

Voiceover Guy: The Canadiator.....

Screen Cuts to Black

All characters copyright themselves and blah blah blah blah blah.  I don't hate Canada....

Scene 1

Scene shows Cador, Lunar, Suke, and Aoi sitting either on the couch or in one of the chairs of Bolts' apartment.

Bolts: *Enters* Would someone tell me why your always in my house?

Cador: Central point....

Suke: Beer...

Aoi: Bannanas....

Bolts: ....Right....Well I'm going to the doc's.

Suke: What's wrong with you?

Rest: ...

Suke: ...I mean....aside from the usual.

Bolts: Nothing....just a little check up...*Leaves*

Scene 2

Scene shows Bolts approaching a plastic surgeons office.

Bolts: *Enters* Hey doc....you in?

Doc: Ahhh Mr. Bolts!....Are you ready to begin? *Is flipping a scalpel in his hands*

Bolts: *Breathes deeply* Lets do it....

Doc: *Leads Bolts into the back room and sedates him*

Hours Later

Doc's Voice: We've done it nurse.....We created something beautiful...

Nurse: ....If you say so doctor....

Bolts: *Blinking his eyes* Are they ready?

Doc: Yes...your free to go.

Bolts: *Hops up* Thanks, see you around, doc.

Doc: Ahem....you still need to pay....

Bolts: Kiss my white a** *leaves*

Doc: Son...of...a...bit**....

Scene 3

Scene shows Cador, Lunar, Suke, and Aoi sitting in the same spots as before.

Bolts: *Knocks on the door* Let me in! I know none of you have left yet!

Suke: Bolts! *Runs to the door* Wher have you been!? *Opens the door* It's been three da-.....*Staring wide eyed at Bolts*

Aoi: Something the matter, Suke darling?

Bolts: *Enters the living room* Hey guys.

Rest: He-.....*Also stare wide eyed at Bolts*

Bolts: What?

Cador: Bolts?...

Bolts: Yes?

Cador: ....Are those breasts on your chest?

Bolts: Yup.

Aoi: Ayyeee!!! *Runs over to Bolts excitedly* Wow they look great!!! *Pokes them and giggles cutely*

Bolts: Thank you.

Suke: What the fu** man!!!

Cador: Yeah....what he said.....

ULX: *Banging on the bathroom door* What about boobs!!?

Bolts: *Opens the door* These boobs!!! *Jiggles them in his face*

ULX: MY EYES!!! *Slams the door shut*

Suke: ....Bolts.....

Bolts: Hm?

Suke: ....Why?

Bolts: Because this story needs something confrontational and sickening.

Cador: Done...

Suke: Thats it?

Bolts: Well....*Pokes his boobs for a bit*....They are fun to play with....

Aoi: Amen to that!! *Is playing with her own*

Cador: .....

Suke: ....

Bolts: Idea!!!

Aoi: Oh I love ideas!!!

Cador: Oh God...

Suke: What he said...

Bolts: Get the camera!!! *Runs off to his room*

Aoi: *Grabs the camera off the counter*

Scene 4

Scene shows Bolts standing outside of Craig's apartment wearing a large blonde wig, stripper boots, fish nets, a miniskirt, and a skin tight red tank top while Cador, Lunar, Suke, and Aoi stand around the corner with the video camera.

Cador: Tell me he's not really doing this...

Suke: He's really doing it....

Bolts: *Knocks on the door and in a feminine voice says* Ooooh Craaaaaaig!

Craig: *Opens the door* Wh- *Glances up at what appears to be a rather attractive girl*...erm...blu...uh..

Bolts: Tee hee, awww aren't you just the cutest little green robot? *Pinching Craig's cheeks*

Craig: YES!....

Bolts: *Pulls the wig off his head* Hey Craig!

Craig: *Stares wide eyed for a moment before running back into his apartment screaming*

Bolts: *Laughing hysterically*

Cador: That was wrong in so many ways.....

Suke: I'm gonna have nightmares....

Cador: You!? What about Craig!?

Suke: Oh he's gonna kill himself for sure....

Cador: ...Point....

Scene 5

Scene shows Bolts in his usual clothes, still fiddling with his new boobs while Cador, Lunar, Suke, and Aoi sit on the couch across from him.

Cador: Is...ANYONE...else worried at all about Craig?

Suke: Nope...

Bolts: Nope...

Aoi: Bannana!

Cador: Sigh...

Craig: *Enters* You guys wouldn't believe the nightmare I just ha- *Sees Bolts sitting in the recliner with his boobs* AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! *Runs out screaming*

Suke: He'll be fine...

Bolts: Yeah...

Cador: Fine!? He's gone postal!!!

Bolts: Yeah, he'll be fine...

Suke: Yeah....

End Act 4

Screen cuts to black

Lunar: *Enters from the left* What the fu**!?

Bolts: *Enters from the right* What?

Lunar: NOT ONE BLOODY LINE THE WHOLE ACT!!!?

Bolts: Hey your the one that said you were talking to much in the other ones.

Lunar: ...

Bolts: AHA!!!

End Act 4 (Seriously this time)

All characters copyright themselves

What I have to be witty every week? Fu** you....

Act 3:

Scene 1:

Scene shows Bolts, Cador, and Lunar inside Bolts' apartment, watching the football game.

Cador: What's the point of this again?

Bolts: Sigh....alright Cador.....Those guys over there are trying to get the ball past those guys over there. Then they have to try and get the ball all the way to the other side of the field to score.

Cador: Ok......Who do we want to win again?

Bolts: YOU want the cowboys to win if you plan on drinking any more of my beer today.....that goes double for you, Lunar.

Lunar: What'd I do?

Bolts: You exist.....that's enough.

Lunar: *Sobs* I don't like you.....

Suke: *Knocks on the door* Hey douchebags open up!!

Bolts: It's open already!!

Suke: *Enters* Alright where is she?....

Cador: Where's who?

Suke: Who do you think?

Bolts: *Facepalm* Did you lose her again?

Lunar: Who's “her?”

Suke: Aoi....

Bolts: Or as I prefer to call her.....rampaging sex muffin.....

Suke: ....

Cador: ....

Lunar: ....

Bolts: Oh don't give me that, you were all thinking the same thing.

Suke: Ignoring that for now.....Where in God's name is she?

Aoi: *Crashes in through the ceiling with nothing but the shower curtain covering her*

Bolts: *Sits up a bit*.....Found her....

Aoi: Owie.....Oh hey guys!!!

Cador: ....Wow.....

Lunar: Bolts.....

Bolts: What?

Lunar: Would you please explain to me why it's only your apartment that naked women keep crashing into?

Bolts: ....well you s-

Lunar: BE HONEST DA** IT!!!!

Bolts: ....

Lunar: ....

Cador: ....

Aoi: ....PIE!!!!

Others: *Stare blankly at her*

Suke: ....Yeah....I'll just be taking her back now. *Drags Suke off inside the shower curtain*

Aoi: Bye guys!!!

Cador and Bolts: *Wave good-bye*

Lunar: Answer the bloody question....

Cador: I have to admit, I'm curious to.

Bolts: Well....it's really pretty simple....

Cador and Lunar: Yeeees?

Bolts: It's the hair....*Reclines back in his seat*

Lunar: ...

Cador: ...

Bolts: ...What?

Cador: Right....the hair.....the fact that your the author of this crap has nothing to do with it, huh?

Bolts: None whatsoever...right Lun-.....

Lunar: *Is using a pair of scissors to cut his hair into the same style as Bolts*

Cador: .....Wow.....

Bolts: Yeah.....

Scene 2:

Scene shows Suke in his apartment next door to Bolts', reclining on his couch.

Aoi: *Enters with a towel on* Oh Suuuuke......

Suke: *Sits up* What?

Aoi: *Tackles him*

Suke: Gah!

Both: *Making out*

Bolts: *Enters the apartment without knocking* Hey Suke....just borrowing some beer. *Hasn't noticed the two's actions*

Suke: Um....Bolts?

Bolts: What? *Looks at the two* Oh.....*Leaves*

Suke: Well that was weird.

Aoi: Kinky....

Suke: .....

Bolts: *Enters again* Forgot the beer, sorry!!!! *Grabs the beer and leaves*

Suke: DA** IT, BOLTS!!!!

Scene 3:

Scene shows Craig in his apartment upstairs, tinkering around with his stereo system.

Lunar: *Knocks on door* Hey Craig!!! Open up!!

Craig: *Opens the door* What?

Lunar: *Cracks him over the head with a steel pipe*

Craig: Glubargh *Falls over*

Lunar: *Catches him and drags him away*

Scene 4:

Scene shows Suke and Aoi exiting their apartment.

Aoi: I hope we're not late!!

Suke: Well if you could have put your clothes on faster!!!

Aoi: I didn't hear you complaining...

Suke: ....Point....

Both: *Knock on Bolts' door*

Bolts: *Opens the door* Come on your gonna miss all the action!!!

Three: *Enter Bolts' apartment and head to the living room*

Cador: I AM NOT AMUSED!!! *Is currently tied up in a small wooden chair*

Craig: NOR AM I!!! *Is in the same situation as Cador*

Bolts: Ahem.....Lunar hit the switch....

Lunar: *Throws the light switch*

Bolts: *Microphone decends from the ceiling* ... *Takes ahold of it* LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.....TONIGHT!!....FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE!!....IN THE BLUE CORNER!! *Gestures his hand to Cador* THE BOBBA FETT RIP OFF HIMSELF!! CADOR!!!! *Uproar of applause from the audience*

Cador: THE WHAT!?

Bolts: AND IN THE GREEN CORNER!! *Gestures his hand to Craig* IT'S....Craig....*mild applause heard in the background*

Craig: HEY!!!

Bolts: Lunar!! ULX!!

Lunar: *Plugs a long chord leading to a small remote with one joystick and two buttons into Craig's back*

ULX: MY HAND'S SMELL LIKE CHERRIES!!! *Plugs a similar chord and controler into Cador*

Cador: What the fu** is going on here!!!?

Bolts: AND NOW!!! SUPER SIZED ROCKE 'EM SOCK 'EM ROBOTS!!!!

Cador and Craig: ...What?....

Bolts and Lunar: *Grip the controls so that Lunar is controling Craig and Bolts is controling Cador*

Cador: Wait, wait, wait, aren't there laws against this or something?

Bolts: NOPE!!! *Starts mashing buttons*

Lunar: *Does the same*

Cador and Craig: *Rip free of their ropes and seemingly glide towards the center of the living room*

Craig: MAKE IT STOP!! *Is punching Cador continuously with his right hand*

Cador: YOU STOP!!! *Is doing the same to Craig*

Both: *Heads pop up, attached to cheeply made springs*

Bolts: AND WE HAVE A TIE FOR THE FIRST ROUND!!! *Resets the heads*

Cador: HEY, HEY WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Crowd: *Grows quiet*

Cador: Do we really have to do this? *Soft music playing in the background* Do we have to solve everything with this mindless violence? I mean....can't we just all get along? *Big puppy dog eyes*

Crowd: *Sobbing*

Aoi: That was beautiful...*Wiping her eyes with a tissue*

Bolts: *Glances at Lunar*....

Lunar: *Looks at Bolts*....

Both: Yup....we're good with it....

Cador: ...Sh**....

Bolts and Lunar: *Resume mashing buttons*

Cador and Craig: MAKE IT STOP!!!! *Continue wailing on eachother*

Crowd: *Begins appluading again*

Scene 5:

Scene five shows Cador and Craig on the couch with large bags of ice covering their bodies while Bolts, Lunar, Suke, and Aoi sit on the floor watching T.V.

Cador: I reeeeeally hate you, Bolts......

Craig: If I had known it would be this bad, I never would have signed up for this crap.

Cador: Here, here, buddy.

Both: *Click their drinks together*

Bolts: Ah quit your belly aching....your giving me a headache.

Lunar: I think thats from the booze, Bolts....

Bolts: Shutup....

Aoi: What happened to that bannana?

Suke: Oh God....

Bolts: Hey Lunar....I feel like we forgot something again....

Lunar: Again? Christ what is it with you?

Bolts: Meh, probably nothing....

In the bathroom.

ULX: Would someone please tell me how I got in here again!!! *Holds a bar of soap up infront of him* “You came back to visit, Mr. ULX” *Drops the bar of soap to the ground* I'll get out....and when I do....I'll have my revenge on you Bo-!!

Bolts: *Opens the door* KEEP IT DOWN WE'RE WATCHING THE REPLAYS!!!

ULX: *Huddles in the corner* I'm sorry...

Bolts: *Slams the door shut*

End Act 3

All characters copyright themselves.....thats right even the sex muffin.....don't hurt me Aoi....

Act 2:

Scene 1:

Scene shows Bolts, Cador, and Lunar fishing off the bank of a small lake.

Cador: Da** Bolts.....this was the best idea you've had in awhile.

Lunar: Indeed....

Bolts: Yeah....*peeks over at the other's fishing poles* Be better if we actually caught something though.....

Lunar: Yeah....how does this work again? *Pulls his hook out of the water to reveal that he never actually had any bait.*

Cador: ....

Bolts: ....

Lunar: ....What?

Bolts and Cador: Dumba**....

Lunar: What did I do!?

Bolts: You forgot to put the da** worm on the hook thats what!!

Lunar: You mean.....I'm supposed to stab a worm several times over with this rusty old hook?

Bolts: .....A-duuuuur.....

Lunar: Well....that sounds easy.....

Bolts: I should tell you......it's going to sh** on you when you stab it....

Cador: THAT'S WHAT THAT STICKY STUFF WAS!!!?

Bolts: ....

Lunar: Oh no....oh no, no, no, no, no......I aint getting sh** on by no worm.....

Bolts: Oh for the love of- Gimme that!!! *Takes the worm from Lunar and impales it on the hook*

Worm: OH GOD!! WHY!!!? WHY!!!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT YOU SON OF A BIT-!!!

Bolts: *Bops the worm over the head.* Shutup boy or I'll make it worse.....

Cador: W-W-What the fu** was that?!

Bolts: What?

Lunar: The worm just talked!!!

Bolts: ....Yeah....

Lunar: And that doesn't strike you as odd!?

Bolts: ....

Cador: ....

Lunar: ....Don't answer that.....

Cador: *Has a fish on his pole* Uh....guys...

Bolts: Reel it in man!!! I want to eat tonight!!!

Cador: *Rips the fishing line and the fish out of the water*

Bolts: WOOHOO!!! NO MORE KETCHUP PACKETS FOR US!!!!

Lunar: You know....I'll never understand why you like fish so much.

Bolts: Well you see Lunar.....this is a large mouth bass....

Lunar: Your point?

Bolts: In the deep south, large mouth bass are used for more than just eating....

Cador: *Wretching in the background*

Lunar: *Eye twitching* WHAT THE FU**!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!?

Bolts: Actua-

Lunar: DON'T ANSWER THAT!!! *Bashes Bolts over the head with the fish*

Bolts: *Falls over*

Cador: Oh God....Whatever he's smoking keep it the fu** away from me....

Lunar: Screw that!? Keep it away from him! I'm tired of this crap!!

Cador: Whaddya mean?

Lunar: It's everyday with this guy!!! When was the last time we had a normal day since this douchebag showed up!?

Cador: ....

Lunar: ....

Cador: Throw him in the lake before he wakes up....

Lunar: Agreed....

Both: *Hoist Bolts into the air and send him flying into the middle of the lake*

Screen cuts to black.

Cador: *Enters from the right* What the? What happened now?

Lunar: *Enters from the left* What happened to the sky?

Voice: I would be more concerned with what happened to the floor....

Cador and Lunar: Eh? *Look down*

Both: ....Mommy.....*Fall into the floor and out the ceiling over and over again.*

Bolts: *Floats in* Betcha wish you hadn't done that now huh?

Both: YES!!! FOR GOD'S SAKES MAN MAKE IT STOP!!!!

Bolts: What's the magic word?

Lunar: Please?

Cador: Booze!?

Bolts: Noooo.....

Cador: *Looks at Lunar*

Lunar: *Looks at Cador*

Both: *Kick eachother in the nuts*

Bolts: Thats better....*turns the floor back on*

Cador and Lunar: *Slam into the floor, gripping their balls* Merk.....

Bolts: Now then, if I put you two back are you going to throw me in the lake again?

Both: We'll be good....

Bolts: Good. *Snaps fingers*

Scene cuts back to the lake where Bolts is once again lying unconcious.

Cador: Ok....lets just....take him back home....

Lunar: Yeah....*Lifts Bolts of his shoulder* You grab the fish.....

Cador: DA** IT!!!

Scene 2:

Scene shows Bolts, holding an ice pack to his head while Cador and Lunar relax on the sofa.

Bolts: Remind me again why you hit me over the head with a fish?

Lunar: There doesn't have to be a reason with you Bolts.....

Cador: He does have a point....

Bolts: Shutup, nobody asked you....

Cador: *Grumbles* Anything on T.V.?

Lunar: Commercial, commercial, Mel Gibson movie, commercial, commercial, Alcoholics Anonymous ad.....Hey Bolts you should look into that.

Bolts: Oh shutup.....

Lunar: Commercial, commercial, AW SNAKES ON A PLANE, ALRIGHT!!!

Bolts and Cador: NOOOOOOO!!!!!

T.V.: I am tired of these motherfu-!!

Bolts: *Throws Lunar into the T.V.*....*Breathing heavily* We're safe.....

Cador: Yeah....but now what are we supposed to watch.

Lunar: My head is leaking.....

Bolts: Shutup boy, I'll do it again.....

Lunar: *Squeals*

Scene 3:

Scene shows ULX cowering inside the shower.

ULX: Why hello there Mr. Soap. How have you been? “Oh fine MR. ULX. Still living in the shower I see.” Oh yes, I love it here!!!

Bolts: *Turns to Cador* Say....ULX hasn't killed us for stealing his booze yet.....

Cador: Us?

Lunar: Yeah.....where is he anyway?

Noises are heard from the bathroom

Cador: ....You didn't.....

Bolts: *Chuckles nervously* I did.....

Lunar: You left him in the bathroom!!!?

Bolts: Hey he wasn't making any noise!!!!

Cador: Open the door da** it!!!!

Bolts: *Walks over to the bathroom door*

Cador and Lunar: *Follow after him*

Bolts: *Inhales deeply*....*Swings the door open*

ULX: HIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! *Trys to hide from the light* MY PRECIOUS!!!! *Clenching the bar of soap*

Bolts: *Slams the door back*

Cador: *Staring wide eyed at Bolts* What the fu** did you do to him?

Bolts: I uh.....locked him in my shower.....

Lunar: Wasn't that three days ago!?

Bolts: Yeah?

Cador: Where have you been showering?

Bolts: *Points out the door* ULX's place.....

Lunar: .....And it never croseed your mind to stop to think WHY you were using your neighbors bathroom?

Bolts: Whats to think? He has a hot tub.....

Lunar: .....

Cador: .....

Bolts: ....

All: ME FIRST!!!!

End Act 2

All characters copyright themselves.....except for worm.....he's mine.....you stay away from wormy....

Act 1:

Scene 1:

Scene shows Bolts lounging away on the sofa in his living room.

Cador: *Enters*

Lunar: *Enters behind him*

Both: 3...2...1...*inhale* HEY BOLTS!!!!!!!

Bolts: *leeps off of the couch only to get caught in the chandelir* THE BRITTISH ARE COMING!!! THE BRITTISH ARE COMING!!!!

Cador & Lunar: *Steel Bolts' spot on the couch*

Cador: *turns the T.V. on.* Morning Bolts....

Bolts: .....What the fu** are you two doing in my house?

Lunar: You have the big screen.

Cador: I just wanted to wake you up.

Bolts: *drops down from the ceiling and lands on both of their heads* HOW'S THAT FOR A WAKE UP!!!?

Lunar: *Throws Bolts into the wall* .....a**.....

Bolts: YOU WANNA GO!!?

Lunar: Bring it on bit**!!!

Both: *Fly at eachother before dissapearing in a cloud of kicks and punches*

Cador: Hey keep it over there guys!!

Bolts & Lunar: *Fight their way closer to Cador*

Cador: *Is sucked into the cloud* Ahhh!!!!

Bolts: Quit whining!!!!

Cador: *Is thrown out of the cloud*....Unh.....holy crap did I just get laid?

Bolts and Lunar: *Pause*....

Bolts: Wow Lunar.....I uh....I didn't know you were that kind of guy.....

Lunar and Cador: HEY!!!!

Bolts: Seriously though....if you guys want to do that then do it at one of your houses. I'd like to keep the sodomy levels at a minimum here....

Cador: ....

Lunar: ....

Both: GET HIM!!!!

Bolts: *Runs around the apartment screaming*

Lunar: *Smashes into the wall trying to catch Bolts*

Cador: *Slips on the floor and slams into the fridge*

Scene 2:

Scene shows ULX watching T.V. in his apartment across from Bolts'

ULX: What the fu** is he doing over there now?....*Heads outside to bang on Bolts' door*

Bolts: *Flys through the door and right into ULX's apartment*

ULX: *Flattened by the falling door*

Cador: *Steps on the door while chasing Bolts*

ULX: *Flattened further* HE-!!!

Lunar: *Steps on the door again*

ULX: *Flattened once more* STOP THAT!!! *Chases after the other three*

Bolts: *Turns around* STOP!!!

Other Three: *Slow down and stop infront of him*

Bolts: *Walks over to Lunar* .... *Kicks him in the nuts and runs*

Lunar: *Squeals and falls over*

Cador: ....

ULX: .....wow....

Cador: Talk about irony....

Lunar: Meep....

Cador: .....You uh....wanna keep chasing him....

Lunar: *Kicks Cador in the balls*

Cador: Erk...*falls over*

ULX: ....Will you two get out of my house alrea-

Bolts: YAAAAAAAH!!!!

ULX: What th-!

Bolts: *Cracks ULX over the head with a wooden bat*

ULX: *Falls over*

Bolts: *breathing heavily* hehe....HEHEHE.....MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!!!

Others: *Watch with terror in their eyes*

Cador: W-W-What's he gonna do?

Lunar: I....I don't know...

Bolts: *Runs screaming back to his apartment*

ULX: ....Well....that wasn't so bad.....

Bolts: *Pokes his head out the door* YOUR MOM WASN'T SO BAD!!!!

ULX: *Eye twitching* Ooooooh fu** no!!!!! *Gets up and charges at Bolts*

Bolts: *Sticks his foot out from behind the door frame*

ULX: *Trips and lands inside the shower*

Bolts: *Locks him inside* HAHAHA!!! NOW I MAY DRINK!!! *Heads to ULX's apartment to steal his booze*

Cador: Thats what all this sh** is about!? You getting free booze!?

Bolts: Why else would I be doing any of this?

Cador: ....

Lunar: .....He does have a point....

Cador: Don't encourage him....

Bolts: TO LATE!!! *Is stealing the last of ULX's private stash* PARTY AT MY PLACE!!!

Scene 3:

Scene shows Bolts' apartment filled with every known member of TFS.

Cador: How did all these people fit in here?

Bolts: Beats me....Heh....Check out Iota over there....

Iota: *Currently doing flaming shots of whiskey*

Cador: ....Da**.....

Bolts: Indeed.....

Lunar: Remind me again how I ended up on trash duty!?

Bolts: Hey...you broke into my apartment, you should pay for that somehow.

Lunar: What about Cador!!!?

Bolts: ....I'll think of something....

Cador: *Elbows Lunar on the top of the head* Thanks a lot....

Lunar: Ow....

Bolts: *Looks like he's thinking about something*....Hmm....

Lunar: Whats up?

Bolts: I don't know.....I can't help but think I've forgotten something....

Lunar: ....

Cador: Must be your imagination.....

Bolts: Eh, probably. *Opens another beer*

ULX: *Is banging on the bathroom door* Someone let me out of here!!!

End Act 1

Finale Part 2

Scene 1:

Scene shows Stacy [FG1] gazing through the whole which she had previously sent Bolts flying through while GLX [MG1] is relaxing on the couch.

GLX: Watcha think about?

Stacy: Oh, I'm just relishing the moment.

ULX: *[FG1] Enters while dusting of his hands* Well I feel better now.

Stacy: *Looks slightly confused*

GLX: I take it you just finished with CX?

ULX: Oooooh yeah.

Screen cuts to CX lying on an operating table, wrapped entirely in bandages with a heart monitor beeping slowly in the background.

Stacy: Good, when he's better I can beat the sh** out of him again for being such a douche.

ULX: *chuckles then looks around confusedly* Wheres Bolts?

Stacy: *Smiles and points at the hole in the ceiling*

ULX: *Walks over and gazes through the hole*....*Whistles*

Stacy: Thank you.

Scene 2:

Scene shows Bolts [Casual Gear] flying through the air in and unusally relaxed position, occasionally looking down to see if he's falling yet.

Bolts: Well.....this is boring. *Suddenly stopped in mid-air by some unseen force*

Voice: You must go back....

Bolts: The fu**!?

Voice: You must go back...

Bolts: Go back? I just left!!

Voice: Well yeah....but we need a sequel....

Bolts: *Sits quietly for a moment*......fu**....*Is suddenly reared back by the unseen force and sent flying back towards the Bada Bing Bar.

Scene 3:

Scene shows Stacy [FG1], GLX [MG1], and ULX [FG1] sitting in seperate chairs across the living room whilst GLX is scribbling something in his notepad and Stacy is again flipping through the channels.

Television: The AA can help yo- *click* We're no strangers to loooove- *click* Tom Cruise- *click* U.S. Government is trying to make contact with an unidentified- *click* Geico can save you hundreds on car insurance.

GLX: ....go back one....

Stacy: *clicks remote*

Television: President Bush will now speak.

Bush: Now, we have tried...to make conversation with the object. But so far it remains unresponsive to our extensive efforts. *points to the side where several agents are working with a toy radio to try and contact something* We will let you know.....eventually.

ULX: It's times like this I'm proud to be a Canadian....

GLX: Indeed....

Stacy: Wonder what they're talking about though

Faint screams are heard outside

All: ....

Bolts: *Crashes through the hole in the ceiling where he had been previously launched*

ULX: THE FU** WAS THAT!!!?

GLX: *Snickers slightly*

Stacy: .....GLX.....tell me you didn't....

GLX: *Snaps his fingers and dissappears*

Bolts: *Raises a single arm out of the crater and trys to pull himself out* help....me....

ULX: ....Bolts......

Bolts: .....Chris.....

Stacy: *Rips Bolts out of the pit and holds him in the air* What are you doing here!!?

Bolts: You know....its the funniest story-

Stacy: *Holds the blade of her scythe to Bolts' throat*

Bolts: *Sweating profusely* Ehhehe.....Ok so I'm flying through the air when suddenly this voice comes out of nowhere and says “You must go back, need sequel”, and blah blah blah blah blah. Next thing I know.....I'm here.

ULX: Is he serious.....

Bolts: Rarely but in this case- *thrown to the floor*

Stacy: *Leaves the room*

Bolts: Glad to see I was missed.

ULX: Oh, exponentially.

Bolts: Hey, atleast I'm not writing this time!!

Suddenly a note pad and pencil appears in Bolts arms

ULX: ...

Bolts: ....

Both: Fu*....

Scene 4:

Scene shows Tiff [FG1] in her room, fixing her hair.

ULX: *[FG1] Enters* Tiff....

Tiff: *Fumbles her brush around a bit* Chris? What are you doing in here?

ULX: You might want to sit down for this.....

Tiff: *Obeys though is obviously confused*

ULX: *Kneels down on one knee and takes Tiff by her left hand* Tiff....theres something I-I want to tell you...

Tiff: *Blushing rapidly* Chris, I-I don't know what to say, I-

ULX: Just....let me finish...*Breathes deeply* Tiff...

Tiff: *Looks deeply into ULX's eyes with a look of pure extacy* Yes?...

ULX: *Breathes in* Bolts is back.....

Tiff: *Blushes then rises to her fee suddenly and turns around* Oh my!! Thats.....thats so unexpected!! *Is obviously frustrated about something*

ULX: Yeah.....well.....just thought I'd let you know....*Goes to leave*

Tiff: *Softly* Son of a bi**h....

ULX: Hm? You say something?

Tiff: Nothing!! Nothing at all!!

Scene 5:

Scene shows Bolts [Casual Gear] sitting on the couch with the notebook in hand, thinking about something.

Tiff: *[FG1] Enters* So you are back....

Bolts: *Looks over to her* Yeah....hate to dissapoint....

Tiff: No its fine....*sits down and looks upset about something*

Bolts: *Looks as if he's about to ask her something then backs off and turns the T.V. On*

ULX: *[FG1] Enters* Anyone heard anything from GLX?

Bolts: No, but if I do I swear to God I'm gonna kill him for this.

ULX: .....

Bolts: ....what?

ULX: I-....I think I just agreed with you in my mind....

Bolts: ....

ULX: ....

Bolts: Oh this has to stop, now....*Scribbles in the notebook*

Screen cuts to black

Bolts: *[Casual Gear] enters from the side* Thats it!! Go, leave, no more!!

ULX: *[FG1] Peaks his head in* Hey!!

Bolts: What?!

ULX: You can't just end it like that!

Bolts: And why the fu** not?

ULX: You just left every single question the audience had unanswered!!!

Bolts: Oh so its an answer the want is it?

ULX: I think they deserve one.

Bolts: Ooooook *Turns to the audience* Ladies and gentlemen....*Raises both middle fingers* Kiss my white a**!!

Screen cuts to black.

THE END! (seriously this time)

Finale:

Scene 1:

Scene shows ULX [FG1] and CX [FG2] sitting on the couch in the living room.

ULX: *Cellphone rings*...*Answers it* Hello?

Bolts: *Over phone* Chris? Is CX with you?

ULX: Yeah why?

Bolts: Good, come to my office. *Hangs up*

ULX: *Blinks*....CX....

CX: Yeah?

ULX: When did Bolts get an office?

CX: He got a what!? I've been doing this crap for how long?

ULX: Just answer the da** question.

CX: Probably yesterday when he got done beating me agains the wall with the notebook!!

ULX: *Snickers*

CX: ...

Scene 2:

Scene shows Bolts [Casual Gear] sitting in a rotating office chair as ULX [FG1] and CX [FG2] enter from the hallway.

CX: Alright you silver haired prick what do you want now?

Bolts: Nice to see you to.....

ULX: Wait.....shouldn't you still be wearing a cast or something?

Bolts: *Waves pencil in the air*

ULX: Ah....

Bolts: Yeah....

CX: Why didn't you just do that yesterday?

Bolts: Stop feeding me your logic da** it!!!

ULX: Breath Bolts.....breath....

Bolts: *Takes a few deep breaths* Alright......as you both know, GLX will be returning in a few days.

ULX: Yeah....

Bolts: Well I'm not going to let this whole thing not go out with a bang so what I do next may come as a bit of a shock.....to both of you.

CX: *looks at ULX*

ULX: *glances at CX*

Both: Go on.....

Bolts: Well....*Reaches across the table and slams ULX's and CX's heads together.*

CX: *Falls to the ground*

ULX: *Knocked backwards in his chair*

Bolts: *Scribbles something down quickly in the notebook.*

Both: *slowly regain conciousness*

CX: The fu** was that for!!?

ULX: Yes, do tell!!!

Bolts: Look down....

Both: *Look down to see that they have now switched bodies*

ULX: *From CX's body* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

CX: *From ULX's body* Mommy!!!!

Bolts: Quiet Chris....

Stacy: *Voice from upstairs* CX! Keep it down, down there!!!

CX: I'm not making any noise!!!

Stacy: I wasn't talking to you Chris but while I'm at it shut the fu** up!!!!

CX and ULX: *Stare at eachother in their new bodies before glaring at Bolts*

Bolts: Right I should also mention that your voices are going to stay the same.

ULX: Ha!! Wait until Tiff hears about this!!!

Bolts: I wouldn't recommend that. Remember your CX now for all intents and purposes.

ULX: *Stammers back wide eyed*

CX: *Grins somewhat evily* So.....I can like.....hit him.....and no one will say anything?

Bolts: Yup....

CX: *Now grinning even more madly* Oh chriiiiiiiis.

ULX: *Runs screaming out of the room*

Bolts and CX: *chuckle slightly*

Scene 3:

Scene shows Tiff [FG1] lying on the couch while peacefully taking a nap.

ULX: *[CX, FG2]* Tiff!! For God sakes help me!! *Pounces on her*

Tiff: *Wakes up and screams at the incoming ULX* CX!!! What the fu** are you doing!!!!?

CX: *[ULX, FG1] Enters* CX!! What are you doing ontop of Tiff!!!?

ULX: But I'm not CX!! Your CX!! *Points at CX*

Tiff: *Throws him off of her* CX, I don't know what you're trying to pull but its not funny!!!

ULX: I'm not trying to pull anything!!! Its me!! Chris!!!

Stacy: *[FG1] Enters* I thought I told you to keep it down, CX!!! *Bashes ULX over the head with her scythe*

CX: *Snickers lightly to himself* Honestly CX I don't know where your going with this....

Bolts: *[Casual Gear] Enters* Did I miss something important?

ULX: *Lunges at Bolts before grabbing him by the collar and hoisting him into the air* Put me back!!!

Bolts: Put you back where?

ULX: You know da** well where!!!

Bolts: I have no idea what your talking about.....

ULX: *Throws him against the wall*

Tiff: *Comes up from behind ULX and kicks him square in the balls*

ULX: *Falls over crying in pain*

Tiff: Thats for trying to impersonate my baby!!

CX: Yes, do tell him Tiff. *Wraps his arms around Tiff's waste*

Tiff: *Holds CX's hands lovingly*

ULX: *Reaches upward before falling unconcious*

Screen cuts to black.

Scene 4:

Scene shows ULX [CX, FG2] layed out on the sofa while Bolts [Casual Gear], Tiff [FG1], Stacy [FG1], and CX[ULX, FG1] stand over him with glares on their faces.

Stacy: Now then....care to explain why your trying to be Chris?

ULX: Because I am Chris!!!

Bolts: Enough already CX, it was funny at first but now its just getting annoying.

ULX: I'm not joking!!! Tiff, you gotta believe me!!

Tiff: Why should I? All you ever do is hit on me!!

CX: Ey!!

Rest: *Glance confusedly at CX*

CX: *Sweating nervously* Erm....I mean yeah!!

Tiff: Yeah.....anyways just enough with the pretending to be Chris already.

ULX: *Looking absolutely heart broken* bu-bu-bu-

Tiff: No buts.....

ULX: *Falls down flat on the sofa with tears in his eyes*

Stacy: Get that look off your face, GLX will be back soon and we don't need you all moody.

Bolts: *Eyes bulge out in shock*

ULX: *Raises up with a look of hope on his face*

Both: He will!!!?

Stacy: Yeah....his planes due back in-

GLX: *[MG1] Appears in a blast of smoke before the rest of the group*

Rest: *Cough and waft the smoke away*

GLX: Did you miss me?

ULX: *Tackles GLX and embraces him jubilously* Oh thank God!!!

GLX: *Stammers back* CX? What the fu**?

Tiff: Don't ask.....he's been saying he's Chris all morning.....

GLX: *Raises his eyebrow*

Bolts: *Creeping very slowly to the door so that noone notices*

GLX: *Takes one look at ULX* Ahem....Bolts?

Bolts: *Freezes in his tracks* Y-y-yeah?

GLX: Would you kindly explain, why, Chris is in CX's body?

Tiff and Stacy: *Stare wide eyed at Bolts*

Bolts: Eh...hehe....heh.....*Trys to run*

Stacy: *Catches him by the collar* You mean CX...I mean Chris was telling the truth!!!?

Bolts: Kinda.....

Tiff: *Eye twitches* You mean I let CX.....touch me?

Bolts: Unwittingly atleast....

Tiff: CX!!!!

CX: *Peaks his head out from behind the television set* Gulp....ye-ye-yes?

Tiff: *Lunges at him*

ULX: Wait, wait, wait!!

Tiff: *Pauses*

ULX: If you hurt him now then I have to deal with it later!!!

GLX: He does have a point....

Bolts: *Has now slipped out of Stacy's grasp and is again inching to the door*

GLX: Bolts....

Bolts: *Again trys to run only to be caught once more by Stacy and Tiff*

Stacy: Put....them.....back.....

Tiff: Why are we asking him? GLX is back anyway....

GLX: Because he still has the notepad and I'm not done unpacking.

Tiff: Oh....*Grabs Bolts by the collar forcefully* Well Bolts?

Bolts: Are you coming on to me?

Tiff and Stacy: *Eyes begin twitching* Now!!!

Bolts: Alright, alright!!! Sheesh......*snaps fingers*

ULX and CX: *Nothing happens*

Tiff: Did it work

Bolts: No, I have to write it down and your gripping my arm.....

Tiff: *Looks down* Oh....*lets go*

Bolts: *Rubs his forearm for a moment* Thanks....*Begins writing in the notepad*

CX and ULX: *Both smash together in mid air and switch back to their normal bodies*

ULX: *Looks down at himself* Yes!!

CX: *Also looks down* Yes!!! Finally I'm free to masturbate with my own body again!!!

Rest: *Attempt to avoid wrenching*

ULX: You mean you-.....and with my-.....and the......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!! *Runs screaming down the hallway*

Stacy: Wow.....

GLX: Yeah.....

Bolts: Well!! Now that everythings back to normal I'll uh be going now!!!

Stacy: *Hangs on to his collar* Oh no, no, no, no, no.......

GLX: Yes we still have to pay you after all.

Bolts: Pay me? For what?

GLX: *Kicks Bolts in the nuts and pulls out a $10 bill* I believe this is your normal fee?

Bolts: *Whincing on the ground* Yeah....meep....

Stacy: And now!!! Lift off!!! *Launches Bolts through the ceiling*

Bolts: WAAAAAAAaaaahhhhh!!! *Blinks off into the distant sky*

GLX: You've been waiting to do that for awhile huh?

Stacy: Yes.....yes I have....

THE END

Scene 1:

Scene shows Stacy [FG1], ULX [FG2], and Tiff [FG1] all sitting on the couch while CX [FG2] and Lap [FG1] sit together in the recliner.

ULX: ...

Tiff: ...

Stacy: ...

CX: ...

Lap: ...

All: ...

Tiff: SOMEBODY PLUG THE DA** T.V. IN ALREADY!!!

Rest: *jump a bit at Tiff's screaming*

CX: *Gets up and turns the television on*

ULX: Wheres the remote?

Lap: *Throws the remote at ULX and nails him in the head*

ULX: *Falls to the floor before standing back up and plopping down on the couch, remote in hand*

Stacy: Nice shot...

ULX: HA-HA-HA *flipping threw the channels*

Television: *Channels constantly changing* Viva!! Viagra!! *click* For just two cents a day you ca- *click* Dallas has the ball *click* Crazed man with a scythe threatening to ju- *click* I am tired of the mother fu**in snakes!! On this mother fu**in plane!!

Tiff: Hey wait!! Go back!!

ULX: *Clicks remote back one*

Television: As you can see the man is standing atop Walmart right now. *Screen shows Bolts [Casual Gear] standing on top of Walmart's roof* The man seems to be screaming something about Walmart stealing his beer. More on this at six, for now heres another word from our sponsors. *Screen depicts yet another Viagra commercial*

All: *Stare wide-eyed at the screen*

Stacy: Tell me we can record this!!

ULX: The VCR hasn't worked since.....well....

Stacy: Since when?

CX: Since Chris and Tiff here tried to tape Cinemax, late night......

ULX and Tiff: *Look down shamefully*

Stacy: *Stands up* Well Sh** we can't just sit here!! I'll be da**ed if I'm gonna let him hear the end of this!!

Scene 2:

Scene shows Walmart with Bolts [Casual Gear] still screaming from atop the roof.

ULX: *[FG1] Walks up to one of the policemen at the scene* How longs he been up there?

Cop: Couple of hours.....you know him?

ULX: Unfortunately....

Cop: *Hands ULX a speakerphone* Then get him down from there....

ULX: *Takes the speakerphone and walks past the police line*

Tiff: *[FG1]* Be careful Chris!!

Stacy: *[FG2]* See if you can get him to jump!! *Holds up camera*

CX: *[FG1]* Ten bucks says he's bluffing....

Stacy: Deal....

ULX: *Over speakerphone* Bolts!! What in God's name are you doing up there!!?

Bolts: *Looks down* Chris? Why the fu** are you at Walmart?

ULX: Answer the stupid question...

Bolts: Bad people steel beer.....Bolts want beer!! *Pointing at the several Walmart employees gathered at the scene*

ULX: *Looks at the employees* You take his beer?

Employee 1: Well.....not all of it....

ULX: Sigh....how much then?

Employee 2: Three of the twelve kegs.....

ULX: *Stares blankly at them before looking back up at Bolts* Why did you order twelve kegs of beer?

Bolts: You have to ask!?

ULX: *Looks back at employees* Well your just gonna have to give him the kegs back.

Employee 3: Aww....do we really have to?

ULX: You want him to jump?

Employee 1: Well actually as it turns out, he's an employee of walmart. He's also apart of our healthplan, so if he jumps and gains any kind of money in the impending lawsuit we can take it.

ULX: *Eye twitches* .... *Punches the employee in the face* The fu** is wrong with you? Bolts!! Why are you working at Walmart?!

Bolts: Because I'm not getting paid for this writing crap!!

ULX: Get down from there!!!

Bolts: ...*shrugs*

ULX: No don-!!!

Bolts: *leaps from the roof of Walmart*

Tiff: *screams*

Stacy: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, aaaaaand.....

Bolts: *slams into the concrete*

Screen cuts to black

Scene 3:

Scene shows Bolts [Casual Gear] sprawled out on the couch with a cast over his left arm and right leg.

Tiff: *[FG1] Enters* Hey.....feeling better?

Bolts: Wheres CX?

Tiff: In his room with Lap, why?

Bolts: *Pulls out the notepad and writes something down*

CX: *[FG1] Comes crashing through the roof and lands face first on the floor*.....*looks around* What just happened?

Bolts: *Shows him the pencil*

CX: Da** it!!!! *Leaves to go back to his room*

Tiff:....Was there any point to that?

Bolts: Not really....

Stacy: *[FG2] Enters* Hey there numbnuts!!

Bolts: ...*stares blankly at her* My balls actually feel fine right now but hello either way....

Stacy: Yeah whatever....*Plops down ontop of Bolts' broken leg*

Bolts: *squeals lightly*

Stacy: Shutup...*starts flipping through the channels on the T.V.*

Tiff: So did we ever get that beer back?

Bolts: *looks up for a moment and writes on the notepad again*

Several beer kegs land behind the bar with a loud *thud*

Tiff: Ah.....

Stacy: Now....why didn't you just do that instead of going to Walmart?

Bolts: Whadda you care? I don't seem to recall you trying to catch me when I jumped off the roof.

Stacy: And drop my camera? Psh.

ULX: *[FG1] Enters* Why exactly did you jump?

Bolts: Because you told me to get down.

ULX: Since when do you listen to me?

Bolts: Shutup!!!! Ah! Da** it!!! *Scribbles something down on the notepad*

CX: *Again comes flying in through the same hole in the roof* OW!! What the fu**, Bolts!!

Bolts: *Glares angrily and keeps scribbling*

CX: *Is now constantly being flung back and forth into the wall, screaming and wailing the whole time*

Stacy: Why do we waste money on cable again?

CX: MAKE IT STOP!!! *Arm comes flying off again* FU**!!

Act 3:

Scene 1:

Scene shows GLX [MG1] lying on a beach, surrounded by several beautiful women.

GLX: There is no way I'm going back...*Cell phone rings* Hm? *Answers it* Hello?

ULX: *Over Phone* Uh, GLX?

GLX: Sigh...what now?

ULX: Well.....remeber how there was that one button under the bar that we were never supposed to press?

GLX: Yes.....

ULX: Well uh....

GLX: Tell me you didn't.....TELL ME YOU DIDN'T PRESS THE DA** BUTTON!!!!

ULX: What? No I didn't press the button.....

GLX: Good...

ULX: *muffled* yet...

GLX: What was that?

ULX: Nothing, anyway about the button.

GLX: Whats wrong with it?

ULX: Its missing....

GLX: *Eye Twitches* Its what.....

Scene 2:

Scene shows Stacy [FG1] lounging around on the couch and Bolts [Casual Gear] leaning back in a recliner.

ULX: *[FG2] Enters* We....have.....a serious problem.

Stacy: Define serious....

ULX: We're all gonna die....

Stacy: Ahem.....Bolts. Care to explain?

Bolts: Chris lost the button....

Stacy: *Raises up off the couch* Now when you say button.....do you mean THE button....

Bolts: Yup....

Stacy: Chris.....

ULX: Gulp....yeah?

Stacy: Run....

ULX: *Runs of screaming for mercy down the hall*

Bolts: *Stares blankly at the exiting ULX* You mean your not going to chase him?

Stacy: Nah....I'm feeling lazy.

Bolts: Shocker....

Stacy: What was that!?

Bolts: Nothing!! Nothing at all!!!

Stacy: Da** right....

Scene 3:

Scene shows Tiff [FG1] sitting in a bean bag chair, playing video games.

CX: *[FG1] Enters* You hear the news?

Tiff: *Pauses her game* What news?

CX: They just announced that the world's sexiest man died.

Tiff: What!?

CX: Nah, I'm just messing with you. Of course I'm not dead.

Tiff: That was about as funny as Stacy on her period....

CX: *Twitches slightly* Don't remind me....

Bolts: *[Casual Gear] Enters* Chris lost the button.....*Goes to leave*

CX: *Grabs Bolts by the collar* Now when you say butto-

Bolts: Yes!! I mean THE button!!! Christ is everyone an idiot in this place!? *Looks around at Tiff and CX* Nevermind.....

Tiff: Ey!!!

Scene 4:

Scene shows ULX [SG1], Tiff [FG2], CX [CG1], Stacy [CG1], and Bolts [Combat Gear] all sitting in seperate areas of the living room..

ULX: Everyone here?

Tiff: Everyone except Lap...

CX: ....Yeah....where has she been this whole time anyway?

Rest: *Stare at Bolts*

Bolts: What? Like I'm going to give CX any amount of comfort while I'm here...

Stacy: Good point....

ULX: So where is she?

Bolts: Amsterdam....

Tiff: What!?

Bolts: More specifically......in a 'coffee shop' in Amsterdam.

ULX: Lucky....

Bolts: Focus.....

ULX: Right, well we all now why we're here.

CX: Because you lost the button.

ULX: *Slaps CX* Shutup....ahem....now then what are we going to do about the loss of the button.

Tiff: Question.

ULX: Yes?

Tiff: What does this particular button of doom do again.

ULX: Well......Bolts?

Bolts: Its the power button....

Tiff: So we go without electricity for awhile if it gets pressed?

Bolts: You......could say that....

Stacy: So how do we find THE button.

Bolts: Well....*thinks for a moment* We could ask Lap.

ULX: Why would she know where the button is.

Bolts: How should I know? She might have taken it with her just to piss us off.

Tiff: Possible.

CX: Hey this is Lap we're talking about here! Not some crazy- *mutters for a moment then stops* .....we're fu**ed....

ULX: Basically....

Stacy: Wait, why can't we get Bolts to just do that thing with the notepad and bring the button back?

Rest: *Stare at Bolts*

CX: Yes do tell....

Bolts: What? And do something useful?

ULX: ...

Bolts: Oh what are you gonna do, kick me in the nuts? Been there done that.......by the way we're out of ice....

Stacy: ....

Bolts: What?

Stacy: Bring....the button.....back.....

Bolts: Sigh....fine....*writes something down on the notepad*

Lap: *[FG1] Comes flying through the roof with the button in hand* What the fu**?

ULX: You mean she actually had the button?

Bolts: Yup....

Lap: Why am I not smoking any of that sweet Amsterdamian weed?

Bolts: Because they just had to have their precious button!!!

Tiff: Bolts...

Bolts: Yeah?

Tiff: Shutup....

Bolts: *Hangs head* Fine....

ULX: So then....should we get back to reinstalling the button?

Stacy: I suppose so...

Lap: I don't get what the big deal is. I mean what happens if I press the button? *Goes to press it*

Rest: NO DON- *Screen cuts to black*

Bolts: *[Casual Gear] Enters from the side of the screen and turns to stare at the reader* Ahem.....We're having some technical difficulties and will return whenever the fu** I feel like it....

End Act 3

Act 2:

Scene 1:

Scene shows Bolts in his street clothes, lying on the couch asleep.

ULX: *[FG2] Enters* Hmph....atleast he's not causing any trouble.

Suddenly Stacy [FG2] comes in gripping CX [FG1] by the throat and hurling him into the wall.

Bolts: *Wakes up* Sigh....what'd he do now?...

Stacy: Nothing, I'm just pissed...

ULX: About?

CX: Uh guys-

Stacy: About GLX leaving us to be run by this walking nutshot waiting to happen.

CX: Guys-

Bolts: Hey!! I make an honest living providing a service most men wouldn't dare try!

ULX: That's because most of us value our balls...

CX: Guys!!!!

Bolts: What!!? What do you want!? What do you need!? Can I not just sit here without having to constantly deal with your bit**ing!!!?

CX: My arm came off.....*points at his right arm lying on the ground*

Rest: *Stare at CX and his mutilated lymb*

ULX: Sigh....I'll get the duct tape....

Stacy: Can't we just leave him like that?

CX: But I need this arm!!

Bolts: For what?

CX: Because, I have no intention of becoming left handed!!

Rest: *Stare at CX with disgusted looks on their faces*

Bolts: Yeah, I really didn't need to picture that....

Stacy: Me either....*looks around* Wheres my scythe?

Bolts: Hmm?

Stacy: *Now looking more enraged than ever* Where the Fu** is my scythe!!!? *Glares at CX*

CX: Hey don't look at me, even I know better than to touch that thing....

Stacy: *Glares at ULX*

ULX: Nope...

All: *Turn and look at Bolts*

Bolts: What?...

Stacy: You......

Bolts: Why in God's name would I take your scythe Stacy? I have my own you know...

Stacy: Yeah but.....mines cooler....

Bolts: *Looking annoyed* Gee thanks....

ULX: Did you check under your bed?

Stacy: Well du-.....*Runs down the hall to her room*

Bolts: One of those days huh....

ULX: Seems like it....

CX: Yeah I don't need to go to the doctor or anything, I'll just use this giant Mr. Potato Head arm!! *Pulls a large Mr. Potato Head arm out and sticks it where his old arm used to be*

Bolts: *Stares at CX then over at ULX* I can't tell the difference can you?

ULX: The resemblance is uncanny....

CX: I hate all of you.....

Bolts: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know....

ULX: I hope Stacy found her scythe....

Bolts: Meh.....

ULX: What's wrong with you?

Bolts: Iuno.....guess I'm starting to see why GLX got so bored with this job...

ULX: Yeah, it has been kinda uneventful today....

CX: Um, hello? Missing an arm here....

Bolts: Yeah.....wait a second....*Heads off and comes back with GLX's notepad*

ULX: Bolts....whatever your planning...don-

Bolts: To late... *Finishes writing*

Suddenly a loud rumbling is heard outside of the bar as nearly every member from TFS comes swarming in and demanding a drink.

ULX: *Stares wide eyed at the scene before him*

Bolts: Yeah, have fun....*Heads off to his room*

Elsewhere, in Stacy's room.

Stacy: Ah! Here it is....right next to the remote...*Heads back to the main lobby where the unholy mob of TFS has gathered* What the fu** did you do Chris!!?

ULX: Don't look at me!! Bolts wrote something down in GLX's notebook again and next thing I know...Boom!!

Mob: We want our beer!!!

Iota: *[FG1] Emerges from the mob with a speaker phone held up to his mouth* What do we want!!?

Mob: Beer!!

Iota: When do we want it!!?

Mob: Right now!!! *Swarms the bar trying to grab whatever liqour they can*

Stacy: *Slams the blade of her scythe into the bar directly infront of Iota*

Mob: *Grows quiet*

Stacy: If I hear one more of you fu**ers say beer I swear to God I'll-

CX: Beer....

Stacy: *Glares at CX and lunges at him, screaming*

CX: *Girly scream*

ULX: Ah Christ....

Scene 2:

Scene shows the bar still filled with members of TFS though now the mob has become more controled and orderly.

Bolts: *Enters* I see you managed to get things under control...

ULX: *Breathing difficultly* No thanks to you....

Bolts: Yeah....so how much did we make off this little venture...

ULX: Well uh....*looks around blankly*

Bolts: You forgot to charge again didn't you.....

ULX: If by charge you mean take money from them before giving them beer then, yes.

Bolts: *Facepalm* I swear. I'm supposed to be the stupid one!!

Tiff: *[FG1] Comes from around the bar to where ULX and Bolts are standing* What makes you think you aren't?

Bolts: CX is still alive....

CX: *Is lying on the floor twitching slightly and excreeting some sort of fluids from his nub of an arm*

Bolts: Well.....technically....

Tiff: Yeah....

Cador: *Walks over* Hello again.....

Tiff: Gasp!! It's Bobba Fe-

Bolts: *Puts his hand over Tiff's mouth* Yeah, lets not bring back those memories....*Shivers*

Tiff: Oh....right....

Cador: Yeah.....so....*Hit over the head by the blunt end of Stacy's scythe* Ungh *Falls over unconcious*

Bolts: Stacy? What was that for?

Stacy: Woops....thought he was CX....

ULX: Sigh.....I'll get the Star Wars fans to clean him up....

Bolts: Please....

Lunar: *Walks over* Why is Cador lying on the floor?

Stacy: *Whacks Lunar over the head with her scythe*

Lunar: *Falls to the floor*

Stacy: That's why bit**....

Bolts: Well.....atleast your in a good mood.....

Stacy: I know.....creepy aint it?

Tiff: Slightly....

Bolts: Yeah....well I've grown tired of this conversation and all the people in it. Later jerk-wads.... *Leaves*

Rest: .....

Stacy: Can we keep him?....

ULX: Do what?

Stacy: Pweeeeease? I get to hit more people with him around....

ULX: Sigh....no Stacy.....no.....

Stacy: *Frowns and walks back to her room*

Tiff: Well....what should we do now?

ULX: *Glances at Tiff*

Tiff: *Looks up at ULX*

Moments of silence

Both: *Race down the hallway and slam the door behind them*

End Act 2